It is ok to find this HARD.
I needed a little reminder of this today.
Yesterday was hard. Everything just seemed hard.
Every interaction with the kids seemed fraught.
Every thing that came out of my mouth seemed to be in the wrong tone or the wrong words.
They didn't want to do anything.
It felt like pulling teeth.
My poor husband came home from a 12 hour work day in the hospital and I might have even said words along the line of 'Don't talk to me about bad days' or something ridiculous when he came home.
I am pretty relaxed most of the time so days like these feel like a big deal and make me really reflect on myself (or beat myself up...)
With me, it generally comes down to parenting somewhere along the line.
I am probably not sleeping enough, I tend to work late and get up early to get 'stuff' done. Growing a business involves work.
I often say I don't work as I don't actually "go to work" at the moment but I am still trying to work.
I am in a good morning routine and getting out to walk early every day.
I miss those interactions with other human beings as we all do.
4 kids with different needs has its challenges too but that is not their fault.
I need to manage my expectations as I tell everyone else to.
So today I went to the shop in our local village at 9 am to get our food (not at 9.45pm at night just before closing running into Tescos and out as quickly as possible)
I spoke to at least 6 different actual adult humans during my 30 mins to the village (all at a safe 2 mt distance of course) and bought a take away coffee from my favourite shop that has just re opened for takeaway.
It felt like total bliss.
An absolute treat.
My cup was filled. Literally and metaphorically.
Today has been a much better day.